


Shuddered Hearts

by TheSpaceTrashwhoSobs



Category: Entrapdak - Fandom, She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Alien Biology, Angst and Humor, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Awkward Flirting, Canon Disabled Character, Denial of Feelings, Developing Relationship, Entrapdak, Entrapta Being Entrapta (She-Ra), Eventual Smut, F/M, Fright zone after dark, Hordak Needs a Hug, Hordak being a dumbass, Hordak being dramatic, Hordak-centric (She-Ra), Light miscommunication but not really because it's just Hordak being a dumbass, Missing Scene, No one can convince me this DIDN'T happen, Pining, Rating will change, Sexy times in the sanctum, Virgin Hordak, Weird alien penis doing weird alien things, aka wonderful, and they were lab partners, fluff? perhaps, like...REALLY oblivious, oblivious hordak, set during season 2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-20
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:33:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27640777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSpaceTrashwhoSobs/pseuds/TheSpaceTrashwhoSobs
Summary: Was this how he was to die? Not from a fatal wound acquired in glorious battle, but from thinking about a pretty girl for too long?(AKA Hordak doesn't know how to handle these new feelings so he thinks he's dying.)Takes place in-between the episodes Whiteout and Light Spinner in season 2
Relationships: Entrapta/Hordak (She-Ra), Hordak & Imp (She-Ra), Hordak & Scorpia (She-Ra)
Comments: 36
Kudos: 141





	1. Shuddered Hearts

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing for these characters, and is also the first time I've written in a while haha I promise it isn't going to be garbage though! At least I'll try my best to make it not garbage haha

He hated going to the medbay. Almost nothing in life could be worse than checking yourself into the medbay. It meant admitting that you're not at your peak of health. It meant letting a stranger poke and prod you. Letting them see your weaknesses. Judge you. _Despise you_. At least that's what it meant, as far as Hordak was concerned. Sadly, it appeared he was out of options, and the only thing worse than the thought of checking himself into the medbay, was the thought of suddenly dropping dead now that his goals were at last almost in reach. So in the medbay, on a cold metal slab with wires stuck to his chest is where Hordak reluctantly found himself, one morning.

“Well, everything looks good Lord Hordak. The electrocardiogram came back perfectly normal.” came a calm voice from behind a monitor.

“Were the results comparable to the ones from my own diagnostics?”

“Yes, almost identical, I’d say. Even when taking into account your binary vascular system. How long ago was it that you began to feel these odd sensations in your chest?”

After a dragged out pause, a small bug-like humanoid poked their head out from around the monitor and stared at him waiting for a response, a data pad clutched tightly in one of their arms. With a roll of his eyes, Hordak let out a frustrated sigh. “Well I’m not quite sure. A week perhaps?”

“I see.” The doctor quickly typed something into their pad. “And you’re certain that you haven’t had any changes in your eating or sleeping habits? No new stressors in your life, as of late?”

“No.” he said curtly. Come to think of it, his stress levels have been abnormally low, lately. [ _The portal project has been running along smoothly ever since Entrapta brought back that massive piece of First Ones tech from the Northern Reach. How on Etheria did she even manage to obtain such a thing”_ he wondered. _“Truly remarkable...Anyways, the portal project is fine. Shadow Weaver is in prison, although I should probably find a more permanent solution for her. Imp’s rash has finally cleared up. The war is, well, the same as it ever was. No new stress. No new diet, no out of the ordinary sleeping patterns, and apparently no physiological issues, so what gives?_ ] The lack of answers was making him frustrated.

“We’re done here.” Hordak said sternly as he quickly got up from the examination table. He loomed over the petite doctor. ”You will speak to no one about this. ” he grumbled. The poor doctor looked up at him, petrified. “Of course not, Lord Hordak! I wouldn’t dare!”

He gave a quiet grunt in response and stormed out of the examination room. The doctor slowly unclenched their jaw. They let out a long dragged out breath as they finally allowed their shoulders to relax.

They had just begun to turn off the equipment when they suddenly heard the door slam open behind them. “Fuck!” they yelped out at the loud bang, quickly clasping a hand over their beak.

“In fact!” Hordak said as he stood at the doorway, a finger pointed in the air. “Delete all records of this examination at once!” He ordered.

“Right away sir!” The doctor frantically started deleting everything on the data pad, almost causing it to fumble out of their shaking hands. Hordak let out a sigh and wordlessly left as quickly as he had returned, once again leaving the frightened doctor stiff as stone. “I fucking hate this place” they choked out under their breath.

~~~

Hordak was on autopilot as he walked back to the sanctum, his mind clouded with confusion, worry, and annoyance, naturally. [ _Are my defects advancing? Surely Etheria’s primitive medical technology would be unable to detect the nuances of my condition...but then why is nothing showing up on my bio-scanners as well?_ ] So many questions. Too little answers. He wasn’t aware of the fact that he had already reached his sanctum until he heard Entrapta’s voice echoing off the metal walls; the sound of it, causing his mind to temporarily go blank. He wasn’t expecting Entrapta to be in the lab so early, and her presents caught him off guard. He found he wasn’t upset by her being there, though. _How odd_. He hates when people go into his sanctum. Hates it even more when they do so while he isn’t in there to make sure they don't...touch anything. And yet, there she was. Touching things. A lot of things. A lot of very important, intricate, and dangerous things! And he was glad? [ _No, that can’t be right. Whatever._ ] He chose not to dwell on that for now.

“Entrapta, I wasn’t expecting you to be here so early.”

“Huh? Oh!” She whirled around and flipped up her mask, flashing him a big toothy smile. “Hi Hordak! Yeah, I couldn’t stop thinking about yesterday’s issue with this alternator, so I figured since I wasn’t gonna get much sleep anyway, I might as well just head on down, and start troubleshooting it! I think I’ve almost got it!” she beamed as her hair poofed up with excitement. Stars, he loves when her hair does that.

“I see. Excellent.”

“Where’ve ya been?” She turned around and continued working on the alternator as she spoke. “I was honestly a little surprised when I got here and saw that you weren't. I was so used to you always being here, I was starting to think you never left the sanctum!” She laughed.

“I had...some personal matters to attend to.” he said weakly.

Entrapta dropped her tools and lifted herself up on her hair to his eye level. “Nothing bad I hope?” Her inquisitive gaze made his cheeks grow warm.

“No. Well, at least I don’t think so.” He averted his eyes, and awkwardly cleared his throat.

“Oh good!” she said grinning. With that, she plopped herself back down and resumed with her tinkering on a damaged armature. She whipped out her recorder and started to speak, “Left alternator log number 17: I think once I finish fixing the armature, this baby should be able to start back up. If this doesn’t work, then I-...” She was wrapped up in her task once more. Hordak thought it best to leave her to her work, and started walking to his station.

Once there his mind began to race once again. He was dying. There was no denying it anymore. How would he tell Entrapta? Should he tell her? [ _Of course. It wouldn’t be fair to leave her in the dark._ ] And if he dies before the portal is complete, what then? [ _Surely Entrapta would still be just as driven to finish the portal and unlock the universe that has been hidden from her all this time. But then what about Prime? No doubt Entrapta, brilliant as she is, will eventually be successful in completing the portal on her own, once she integrates the first ones tech into the Fright Zone’s power grid. She will lead Prime right to this sad excuse of a planet. Would he kill them all? Entrapta included? The rest could burn in damnation, but surely Prime, in all his merciful glory, would appreciate Entrapta’s ingenuity and let her live, right?_ ] In the back of his mind, he already knew the answer to that question, and the thought of it caused a dense ball of unease to roll down his throat and settle into the pit of his stomach.

Just then a sharp cackle ripped through the usual hums and rumbles of the sanctum, causing Hordak to whip around and see Entrapta triumphantly twirling around as the massive alternator sputtered back to life. Her smile was infectious and Hordak couldn’t fight the smile that crept onto his face. Suddenly he felt it again. That uncomfortable almost ticklish fluttering in his chest. This was it. His hearts were about to give out. [ _Oh stars, not now_ ] he thought as he clutched at his chest, grateful that Entrapta was still distracted by her little celebratory party for one. The thought of her seeing him in such a vulnerable state made him feel pitiful. The seemingly random erratic flutterings of his hearts were occurring with growing frequency over that last 48 hours. He had to get out of sight in case he truly was about to drop dead.

He managed to hide behind a vitrine without drawing any attention to himself. Of course, there was nothing back there to alleviate his current condition, but at least he was out of sight during this moment of weakness. The hammering in his chest slowed down after a few moments, but what came in its place was a heavy wave of self-loathing. He could hear Prime’s taunting voice now “How pathetic, even for you, little brother. You may try to hide, but your flaws will never leave you; they run too deep within you. Why do you even try to prove yourself worthy? Your pitiful attempts are just reaffirming what an utter failure you are.”

Hordak clenched his fists and let out a frustrated sigh. [ _I couldn’t even die properly._ ] He thought to himself. He rested his forehead on the cool glass of the vitrine, and watched the bubbles float by a tiny bat-like fetus that was suspended on cables, just on the other side of the glass. The familiar green glow had something of a soothing effect on him.

After a moment he appeared from behind the vitrine and saw that Entrapta was no longer by the alternator. In fact, he couldn’t see her anywhere in the sanctum. Perhaps she went off into one of the vents to go to her room and finally get some rest. Hordak walked to his station and began to go over some calculations to make sure everything was correct. After all, one can never be too careful.

After some time had passed, Hordak suddenly felt a strange sense of loneliness wash over him as he stood there in the empty sanctum. He hadn’t realized how accustomed he had gotten to hearing Entrapta, Imp, and Emily milling about. Where was Imp? Hordak hadn’t seen him in at least twelve hours. As if on cue, the charming little nuisance swooped down from the rafters and landed on Hordak’s desk, a mischievous smirk painted across his chubby babyish face. “Anything to report, my little one?” Hordak asked without looking away from the screens before him. Imp stood up tall and cleared his throat, before opening his mouth widely. The first few voices that came out of his tiny mouth were of no importance, and Hordak was just about to dismiss him when suddenly Entrapta’s voice rang out, causing Hordak’s ears to perk up.

“I don’t know what it is about him! I just think he’s so cute!” she squealed. “Why are you screaming like that?” Indeed, a muffled scream could be heard beneath Entrapta’s voice.

Imp had just barely moved onto his next recording, before Hordak shouted “Play that last one again!”

Once more the recording of Entrapta played out of Imp’s mouth, and Hordak’s blood ran cold. [ _Entrapta fancies someone? But how? She hardly leaves my side!_ ] A pang of jealousy hit him in the gut and made his blood boil. He needed to find out who this man was and- [ _Wait a minute. Why should I care?_ ] He asked himself. [ _And why do I feel like such shit? If Entrapta is infatuated with some soldier or another, it’s perfectly fine. It should be expected. She is Etherian after all. Etherian’s and their nonsensical emotions._ ] He mused. [ A _lways forming attachments. Pathetic._ ]

He hadn’t realized that he had dug his claws into the metal surface of his desk, and was slowly dragging gashes across it. It wasn’t until Imp screeched up at him and began tapping his little foot next to the claw marks, that Hordak noticed the damage he had inflicted upon his desk. Imp, with his stubby arms folded, glared at him judgingly. Hordak let out an annoyed growl and angrily swatted him away. “Piss off!”

How embarrassing.


	2. The tell-tale hearts

For the remainder of the afternoon, there was a constant tug-of-war occurring in Hordak’s mind. Try as he may to focus on his work, the nagging thought of Entrapta finding someone “cute” kept seeping into his mind, followed by feelings of frustration. 

[  _ It doesn’t matter. Why am I acting as though it matters? ]  _ He wondered. [  _ It’s fine. It’s perfectly natural for her kind, feeble minded as they are, to feel such things...Although who’s to say she even feels any sort of way towards this fellow? She says a lot of things are cute! I’m being ridiculous. She probably meant nothing by it...right? Perhaps I should ask Imp to investigate...No! It doesn’t matter! Besides, sending Imp out for something so petty...I’d never hear the end of it. ]  _ He pushed these thoughts from his mind and resumed working on his scheduling for the week. He had to speak with some of his Force Captains to get status reports, but he also needed to speak to Catra about getting rid of Shadow Weaver as soon as possible, so he penciled her in for later that evening .  Once all of that had been settled he decided to take a small walk around the Fright Zone to clear his head, after having such an uncomfortable morning. At least his hearts hadn’t acted up in a few hours. 

As he turned a corner he collided with what felt like a padded wall.

“Gah! Lord Hordak! I’m so sorry!” cried the large scorpion woman.

“Watch where you’re going, Force Captain!” Hordak shouted.

“You got it, sir! I’ll definitely be more careful!”

He was just about to walk past her when a thought occurred to him.

“Force Captain Scorpia.”

“Sir!” 

“You are a friend of Entrapta’s, aren’t you?”

“Sure am!” she beamed.

“Yes, and you two are close?”

“We sure are! Me, her, and Catra make such a great team! ...Or at least we did, before she started working with you...Which I’m not complaining about, by way, sir!” she quickly added. “We still hangout sometimes. I was actually just hanging out with her a few hours ago!”

_ [ Is this who Entrapta was confessing to??? ]  _ Hordak thought back to the muffled scream that was heard in Imp’s recording. Was it a match?

“And I assume you two...talk when you guys ‘hangout’?”

“Oh, we tell eachother everything! Today she told me-” Her face suddenly blanched, and her eyes grew as big as saucers.

“Uhh...N-Nothing interesting” she chuckled awkwardly.

Even though Hordak wasn’t the best at reading Etherian body language, he could still sense Scorpia’s sudden unease. He tilted his head and eyed at her suspiciously. “Is that so?” His voice was calm but harbored an inquisitive tone. [  _ It must have been her.  _ ]  he concluded.

“Uh Lord Hordak, sir? If you don’t mind my asking. Why are you asking me all of this?” she asked nervously. 

_ “Shit. Why AM I asking?”  _ He angrily wondered.

“I-I’m just...You are Entrapta’s closest friend, and I’m...trying to make sure all is well with her. I need Entrapta to be at her best. That is all.” Even he could hear the wobbly uncertainty in his voice. [  _ What the fuck was that?! ]  _ he chastised himself. 

Now it was she who was looking at him suspiciously.

“Uh-huh.” She said skeptically as she narrowed her eyes at him.

“Why are you looking at me like that? ...Stop that! I don’t even know why I’m speaking to you about this!” he snapped.

“Uh, well sir, you said it was because I’m Entrapta’s closest friend? Besides Emily of course!” she laughed nervously, in an attempt to lighten the mood a little. Hordak rolled his eyes and stepped past her. “Although, I gotta be honest with ya boss, lately I think you’ve been a closer friend to her than I have.” she said as he started walking away.

He halted his steps but didn’t turn back around to face her. “Don’t be ridiculous.” 

“No it’s true! I hardly see her these days because she practically spends all her time in your sanctum. And even when we do get the chance to hangout, you and your guys's experiments are all she ever wants to talk about!” 

“...Is that so?” he asked. He finally turned around and slowly stepped towards Scorpia.

“Uh-huh! Oh man, and it really drives Catra up the freakin’ walls!” she guffawed, before clearing her throat and quickly straightening herself back to attention.

_ [ And yet today she didn't just speak about our work. She spoke about someone else too. Interesting. Whoever she finds so “cute” must be quite the charmer if they’ve been able to pique Entrapta’s interest this way... IT'S FINE..She might have just meant ‘cute’ in the same way she finds the scrap-bots cute anyway! ] _

Unbeknownst to Hordak, his face was frozen in a scowl, while he was lost in thought. Scorpia naturally assumed this meant he was displeased with what she was telling him. Then a realization dawned on her.

“Oh crud...Lord Hordak..did...did your little baby thing tell you about her...her crush?” She lifted her claws over her mouth.

_ [ Her “crush”? Ah. So it is a romantic interest. ]  _ He suddenly felt as though his chest had been both hollowed out and constricted all at once. “Yes...He did.” he muttered.

“Oh crap, please don’t get mad at Entrapta, Lord Hordak! I’ll talk to her! I’ll-”

Her voice might as well have been a million miles away. All Hordak could hear was the blood rushing through his ears. Something was beginning to fill that hollow void in his chest; a quiet, simmering anger. He lifted his hand up to silence her, and looked just beyond her. “There’s no need, Force Captain. I am not mad” _[_ _I’m not! ]_ “I just...I just want to make sure that whoever it is she finds so ‘cute’ won’t be distracting her from **our** work! Why would I be mad?! It’s not like it’s any of my concern! She’s free to like anyone whom she pleases, as long as whoever that brat is doesn’t get in our way!” His fists were clenched now and his voice was on the edge of shouting. [ _What is wrong with me? Why do I feel so angry about this?! Pull yourself together!”_ ] He felt the hot rage begin to rise in his chest. He tried to stamp it out as best he could by trying to remind himself that he’s above all of this, but his efforts were wasted. He was a gasket ready to blow.

Scorpia scratched the back of her head with a claw. “Wait, what?...Lord Hordak I think you’re confu-”

“WHO IS HE?!” he roared as he slammed a fist against the wall.

Scorpia nearly jumped out of her exoskeleton at his outburst. “Lord Hordak, you’re not making any sense!”

“ANSWER ME!” He bellowed.

Scorpia felt three inches tall and started talking a thousand miles an hour “I didn’t expect you to get so mad! I don’t know what you want me to tell you, sir! She means no disrespect, sir, I promise! I don’t know why she thinks you’re cute! I swear I don't! What are you asking me, sir?! Who is who?! Who is  **you** ?! Oh please sir, just go easy on her!” She knelt down as she pleaded with him, but her pleads fell on deft pointy ears. Hordak’s mind felt as though it had short-circuited, completely unable to process a single word coming out of that woman’s mouth. After a few seconds he finally snapped back into reality. At least partially.

“What did you say?” he asked softly. 

“JUST PLEASE DON’T HURT HER!!!” She wailed, much too loudly for his sensitive ears.

“Would you stop yelling!?” Scorpia immediately shut her mouth at that. “I meant before that.” He continued, extending a hand out to her “And get up, you fool!” he spat as he forcefully hoisted her up onto her feet.

Scorpia dusted herself off and regained her composure. “Okay. So. Sir, Entrapta thinks you're cute, but don't worry! You're still just as intimidating as ever, Lord Hordak! I know she meant no disrespect by it, honest! You’re terrifying, sir!”

He was rendered speechless for a moment before breathing out an almost inaudible “Oh.” The sound of it was so delicate, it seemed as though it would shatter at any moment.

“...but I’m so ugly” he absentmindedly whispered.

“I know! That’s what I said!” she exclaimed as she threw her claws up in the air.

Hordak glared at her and growled. 

“Ope! Sorry sir! I-I mean, you’re not really my type so..I dunno. I wouldn’t know, ya know?” she chuckled nervously with a phony cheek-aching grin plastered on her face. She felt a warm bead of sweat roll down the side of her forehead.

[  _ How could she think I’m cute? I’m the furthest thing from cute! A moldy ration bar is more pleasant to look at than I am.  _ ]  None of this was making any sense. _ [ I’m a defective clone. Unworthy of anyone’s affections, least of all the affection of someone so bright and so beautiful. ] _

The thought of her having a ‘crush’ on him had never even crossed his mind. [  _ Surely this must be some kind of a cruel joke _ .  _ Although...That doesn’t sound like Entrapta. She doesn’t seem to have a cruel bone in her body...Could she really-  _ ] Before he could finish that thought, his hearts started acting up again [  _ Blast this fucking thumping! Okay keep calm. Can’t let a Force Captain see you like this. Just maintain eye contact and scowl. ] _

He tried to keep his voice leveled and stern. “Force Captain, you are not to speak a word of this to Entrapta, do you understand?”

“Yes sir!” she saluted. “My lips are totally sealed!” she said as she puffed her chest proudly.

“Good. I feel this is a matter that should only be kept between Entrapta and I.” The hammering of his hearts were becoming unbearable. Was this how he was to die? Not from some fatal wound acquired in glorious battle...but from thinking about a girl too hard? He tried to keep his face neutral even though his insides were clearly failing. His hearts. His lungs. His stomach. Possibly even his brain, by the looks of it. All were about to give out. Dread began to overtake him. He needed to get away from Scorpia fast! But just as he was about to sprint away to find some shadowy corner to die in, the symptoms all but vanished. His feelings of impending doom seemed to have alleviated him of his horrid conditions! It would appear Hordak would live to see another day. [  _ Oh, thanks be to Prime!  _ ]  Hordak thought.

“Uh, Lord Hordak? Sir? Are ya alright? You’re looking kinda flushed there.” It was true. Hordak was blushing like a little schoolgirl, despite his near death experience. "...are..are you blushing, sir?!" she whispered, misty eyed. Hordak had never seen a more obnoxious face.

She gasped loudly before he could respond “Sir! Do you have a crush on her too? Do you love her?! Does she make your heart go wild?! I’m so sorry sir, no disrespect! I just gotta know!” Her eyes had somehow managed to become even bigger, mistier, and...mushier with every question.

_[...’Does she make your heart go wild?’ What kind of a question is that?! What does that even mean? It's nonsense! Utter nonsense!_ _It’s... it's not possible...I am a member of the Galactic Horde, damnit! Clone of the ruler of the known universe himself! And clones are not meant for...whatever this is! We are meant to conquer worlds! Topple empires!..._

_ ...Am I truly so thoroughly defective?...No. No, I can't be! ] _

“H-How DARE you! How DARE you even imply-!!! Do you even hear yourself?! Do you really think I-!!! Have you gone mad?! DOES SHE MAKE MY HEART GO WILD?! Force Captain Scorpia, I do  **not** waste my time with such foolish nonsense, unlike you lesser beings! I am far too superior!” Hordak felt incredibly flustered, and he was doing a terrible job at hiding it from Scorpia, who was taking a twisted kind of pleasure in seeing her boss so uncomfortable and...somewhat human for once. In his own Hordak-y way, of course.

_ {Oh I ain’t buyin’ it. I ain’t buyin’ it one bit.} _ Scorpia thought to herself as she watched her boss slowly unravel.

“Do I have a “crush” on her?” he continued with an overly theatrical scoff. “No! I do not have a…”crush” on her. How idiotic!” he hissed.

Scorpia just stood there, internally screaming as she watched him pace back and forth.

_ [So I'm not dying...No, this is far worse than death! A defective body can be altered to still be somewhat functional, but a defective mind? ]  _ He felt as though he were drowning. [  _ Could such a flaw be mended? ] _

He looked away from Scorpia and slowly contorted his face into an expression that was somewhere between pain and disgust before continuing “...b-but hypothetically, if one were to-...If some fool had, for some idiotic reason, developed...feelings...on a romantic level...what do you Etherians do to eradicate them?” by the time he had finished his question, his voice had risen by an octave. When he turned back around, he was greeted with that obnoxious mushy face once again.

Scorpia’s brain felt as though it were about to burst into a million pieces. _ { No. freakin'. WAY! Am I really hearing this?! Ohmygodohmygodohmygod }  _ She did her best to keep her thoughts under control and her composure in check while he spoke, but even so, she was unable to contain the tea kettle like squeal that was seeping out from her tight lipped smile. She inhaled deeply to center herself, and cleared her throat. 

"Well Lord Hordak, I guess you could-"

"Not I!" He interjected.

"Oh! Sorry! Of course, Lord Hordak. Of course. My bad." She apologized hurriedly. "But if somebody wanted to stop liking someone...well, I think they would just have to distance themselves from that person, I guess."

"But I can't do that, I need her!" He blurted. "I-I mean…but if distancing is not an option, what then? ...FORCE CAPTAIN SCORPIA, IF I HEAR ONE MORE SQUEAK OUT OF YOU, I WILL BANISH YOU TO BEAST ISLAND THIS INSTANT!" He roared.

"Ahh! I'm sorry! I-I-I think I'm just coming down with a cold or something!" She said as she clasped her claws over her mouth. 

Hordak let out an angry huff. Good. she was scared of him again.

" ...But sir, why would anyone want to get rid of those feelings? They’re so wonderful! The butterflies! The giddiness! Not just giving, but also receiving compliments!” She let out a dreamy sigh as her eyes took on a distant look.

_ [ Butterflies? Compliments? This is useless! ] _ Hordak bitterly thought to himself.

“Nevermind all this!” he barked. “I’ve grown weary of your presence. You’re dismissed.” He said as he pinched the bridge of his nose and gave a dismissive wave of his hand.

“...Yes sir.” she said joylessly.

This walk had turned into a stressful shit show. He was more bothered and confused now than he had been before he left to clear his head!

_ [ I should never leave my sanctum, honestly. ]  _ he concluded with a heavy sigh. The thought of inevitability facing Entrapta again made his stomach churn uncomfortably. This day couldn’t end soon enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys are enjoying yourselves so far! Next chapter should be up shortly! Don't uh...don't read it if you're a minor 😏


	3. La petite mort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (͠≖ ͜ʖ͠≖)

After his troubling yet enlightening conversation with Scorpia that afternoon, Hordak went back to the sanctum to try and wrap his head around all that he had learned. He had fallen for an Etherian. How he had let such a mistake happen, was beyond him. He sat there miserably, thinking of all the horrible things Horde Prime would say if he were to see him now. 

“Oh now this is rich. Leave it to a pitiful stain such as yourself, to fall in love with one of these lesser beings. Tisk tisk, little brother. ” the voice chuckled darkly. “Perhaps it should have been expected. After all, one could hardly even consider you a clone, so defective as you are.”

He sat at his station cursing his foolish defective hearts, while Imp napped peacefully on his lap. “I must put a stop to this.” he said out loud conclusively, causing Imp to open a bleary eye and look up at him. “I need to tell her to control her feelings, and I’ll...I’ll find a way to control my own.” he sighed defeatedly. Imp rolled his eyes, and repositioned himself into a more comfortable position. He was just about to doze off again when the sound of rapid thuds began running along the vents above them. The familiar sound made Hordak’s stomach clenched uncomfortably and he quickly leaped to his feet, causing Imp to unceremoniously tumble to the ground. He chittered viciously at Hordak as he angrily rubbed a sore butt cheek. Hordak was too distracted by his own impending doom to pay the poor creature any mind.

One of the grates clattered open and the lavender haired princess suddenly appeared before them.

“Hello!” She greeted chipperly as she lifted her arms above her head and stretched. Hordak couldn’t help but notice how taut her shirt became over her breasts, as she did so. [  _ When did I become such a disgusting pervert?!  _ ] Hordak angrily asked himself, as he quickly forced his eyes to look away.

“Wow, is that really the time?! I didn’t think I’d sleep so much! This is definitely going to mess with my circadian rhythm” Entrapta snorted.  “Mind if I stay here the whole night? I really wanna finish integrating that First Ones Tech.” She asked as she eagerly rubbed her hands together. 

Hordak found that he no longer knew how to act around her, or how to even talk to her. Seeing Entrapta there in the flesh made his face feel hot, and his hearts as though they were doing summersaults. 

“Uh, yes. Yes of course you may.” he stammered. 

“Great!” she cheered. “This is gonna take some time, but I just know I’m gonna have a real blast with it!” she said as she clasped her hands together and gave a little shimmy of her shoulders. “Hopefully not a literal blast though” she laughed. “but we’ll seeee” she added, eyes twinkling with excitement. 

Hordak usually adored her energetic spunk, but today it felt almost haunting. Her eyes shone too brightly. Her smile, too dazzling. Her very presence was just too much for Hordak to bear. He gave her a halfhearted smile and quickly turned away to face his monitors again, even though he had been staring at the same chunk of code for the last two hours. [ _ I’m being an idiot. I just need to talk to her!  _ ]

"Hey Hordak?” Came Entrapta’s voice from above, “ I’ve been meaning to ask, what are these mechanical limbs up here for?" 

Hordak looked up to see that Entrapta had suspended herself from a beam, and was closely examining the spider-like limbs that helped him in and out of his armor.

“Get away from those!” he shouted in a panic.

“Ak! Sorry! Are they fragile? They don’t look it.” She said as she stroked her chin and began to slowly move away from the structure. She still kept her curious eyes firmly locked on the limbs as she spoke, “I’ve just never actually seen you use these before! What are they for?” 

“It is none of your concern.” he said firmly.

“Ooh but we’re lab partners! We always show eachother our cool gadgets! Why is this one any different?”

There was no way in hell he was going to show her what those mechanical limbs did. Absolutely no way! ...And yet against all reason, his next thoughts hit him like a freight train.

[ _ She probably thinks I’m some magnificently bodied creature. Perhaps...perhaps if she knew what I actually look like, she’ll realize that her affections are misplaced. That I am not worthy of her amorous thoughts. She will see my pathetic body and will be unable to hide her revulsion. Sure, the sight of her disgust will sting, but as brother always said, one must suffer to be pure. Knowing I disgust her will surely cure my hearts of their foolish longing. Knowing I disgust her will free my mind from this torment, surely! All will go back to normal. _ ] 

Hordak couldn’t keep his body from trembling slightly as he stood there thinking of what he was about to do. He took in a deep breath to steal his nerves.

“...Alright” he said softly. “...Get down here and I’ll show you.” He felt as though he were going to puke right then and there, but managed to keep his composure.

Entrapta let out an excited little noise and did a quick flap of her hands before lowering herself down to the ground. She was practically vibrating with giddiness, by the time she settled beside Hordak. 

Every shred of instinct was screaming at Hordak to just flee the room, but he resolved to see this through, and just get it over with. 

“Just wait right where you’re standing” he muttered

This was his chance to show her how unworthy of adoration he was. She'll rightfully berate him and be disgusted by him, then he’ll lose his feelings. The plan was perfect. Hordak had to continuously repeat this dreadful justification to himself as he positioned himself for what may as well have been his own execution, as far as he was concerned.

The mechanical limbs whired to life and began to descend from the ceiling. He wanted so badly to just close his eyes and avoid the look of horrified shock that was surely to grace Entrapta’s face once his arms became revealed, but he knew he had to make this hurt. 

Entrapta was completely engrossed in the happenings before her. Oohing and Awing as the limbs began to work, but then she fell silent. Hordak couldn’t read her expression, but figured her revolution had rendered her speechless.

“Do you see now?” he asked, barely masking the pain in his voice.

“Oh Hordak…” she whispered as she lightly covered her mouth

[  _ Here it comes. _ ] He braced himself for the verbal battering that was sure to follow.

“...That’s...so CLASSY!  **Much** more efficient than the system I had set up back in Dryl! How long did it take you to make this?” In an instant she was hovering right beside the limbs, scratching the top of her head and running her hair through the nooks and crannies of the contraption. 

“ What kind of sensors do you use on this thing?-WAIT NO DON’T TELL ME! I want to figure it out!” 

Hordak just stood there dumbstruck...and cold. [  _ Why isn’t she averting her eyes in disgust? Why hasn’t she ran away in terror? Is it pitty? It must be pitty, right? _ ]

“Entrapta!” He finally found the strength to say.

“Sorry! I won’t touch it anymore!” she said as she quickly retracted her hair “...for now.” she murmured with a playful smirk.

“Entrapta...aren’t you...disgusted?”

“Disgusted?! Nooo! Hordak I’m impressed! Sure it's a little arachnid in nature, but then again so’s my hair!” she laughed as her hair took on a spider-like form above her.

“I meant by me!” he bursted.

She eyed him once over. “Oh Hordak” she said as she gave him a lopsided smile “We all get a little sweaty from time to time. Don’t be so hard on yourself!” she placed a reassuring hand of hair on his shoulder.

Hordak couldn’t remember the last time his bare shoulder had been touched, if ever. He gasped softly at the contact, and it’s warmth sent a tingling jolt right through his core that made his knees weak. He looked at the tendril of hair on his shoulder and followed it’s length until his eyes landed on Entrapta’s charming face. His hearts immediately slammed against his ribcage, and he could have sworn they were going to burst right through and flop onto the floor.

As he looked into her eyes, he noted how blown out her pupils were [  _ Oh no. I’ve read about this. She still thinks I’m cute.  _ ] Evidently his plan had failed. Spectacularly so. He couldn’t help but notice how flushed Entrapta’s cheek had become, and he didn’t need a mirror to know his were no different. After a heart beat, Entrapta removed her hair from his shoulder and averted her eyes.  “I-I should uh, get to working on the mainframe.” 

[  _ NO!  _ ] scream every ounce of Hordak’s being.  “Yes. Yes, that’s probably for the best.” he ended up saying, followed by awkwardly clearing his throat.

“Yeah” she laughed bashfully, as she fidgeted with the hand of hair that had just been on Hordak’s shoulder. “I’m uh...I’m gonna be right over there.” She said as she pointed to a column across the room that was covered in electrical panels.

[  _ But that is too far!  _ ] cried the voice in Hordak’s head, despite the column being a good 30 feet away at most. He knew he was being ridiculous and tried to pushed his thoughts down as he watched her walk away. When Entrapta noticed him watching her, she gave him a bashful little smile before quickly snapping her attention back to the column. 

[ _ Oh stars, what’s come over me?  _ ] He thought desperately. There was a longing unlike anything Hordak had ever experienced in his life. A craving for something unknown, something he couldn’t even begin to comprehend. The more he tried to look away from Entrapta, the stronger his aching became. [ _ I just need to get this out of my system somehow. Maybe then everything will go back to as it should be _ . ] he reasoned. Hordak squirmed uncomfortably as his eyes landed on Entrapta’s enticing curves, as she bent over to get a closer look at some wiring in one of the panels.

[ _ Have her coveralls always been so form fitting? ...No, I’m above all of this! Just look away. I have so many other things I need to be working on. _ ]

To his credit, he did manage to turn around, if only for just a few seconds, before taking a peak over his shoulder and losing all rational thought.

[  _ Damn it!  _ ] In five long strides, Hordak closed the distance between them, towering behind her small form.

“Uh, Hordak? You’re in my light” she said without turning around. He knew he should move. He  should leave. Put one foot in front of the other, and just go. He wasn't quite sure what would happen if he stayed standing so close to her, but he was positively sure absolutely no good would come of it. Much to his horror, his body had apparently lost all ability to follow his logic. 

Without giving himself time to think, he raised a hand and ran it across the back of her head, relishing in the softness of her hair. Entrapta couldn’t help but melt at the sensation of his claws as they ran along her scalp, causing a shiver to tingle down her spine. His hand stilled at the nape of her neck, and he was taken aback by how small and frail her neck felt in his massive hand; his fingers could easily wrap all the way to the front of her throat. It both thrilled him and frightened him, feeling how effortlessly he could end her life right then and there. He slowly buried his fingers into her hair and grasped a bundle of the lavender colored tress.

“Hor- H-Hordak?” Entrapta’s quivering voice was barely above a whisper when she spoke. 

Hordak slowly pulled her head back to allow her to lift her chin and look up at him as he loomed behind her. There was an intoxicating blend of fear and arousal dancing in the sparkling magenta eyes that gazed up at him. His hearts were hammering against his chest when, without warning he bent down and crushed his lips against her’s. His kiss was raw and desperate, the ferocity of it, making Entrapta feel light headed and weak kneed.

Once the initial shock of the kiss wore off, Entrapta, emboldened by his sudden display of passion, snaked a tendril of hair around his waist and pulled him flush against her body. She gave a devilish little smirk against his lips when she felt something long and hard press up against her back.

Without breaking the seal of their lips, Entrapta slowly rose herself up on her hair until this mysterious shaft was perfectly lined up against her plump backside. She gave an experimental roll of her hips against him, drawing out a low velvety groan from the very depth of Hordak’s soul. She reveled in the sound of it as it caused a delicious heat to coil in her sex. Something primal snapped in Hordak in that moment, and he pulled her head to the side to expose her neck to him, but let out a frustrated growl when he was greeted with that damn turtle neck instead. Entrapta wasted no time in removing the offending garment, allowing him access to the sensitive flesh he craved. He wanted so badly just to lose himself in the warmth of the soft skin there, but he knew his teeth could do some real damage to her if he wasn’t careful, so he grazed his fangs along the side of her neck and nipped behind her ear with a guttural purr. His free hand ran up the side of her body and cupped her soft breast. He was taken pleasantly surprised by how warm and full it felt in his massive hand as he kneaded it. 

Entrapta raised her arms above her head and raked her fingers through his hair, before giving it a firm tug down towards her, holding him in place as she began to rhythmically roll her hips back against his hard member once more. Hordak let out a breathy whimper at the new sensations that were radiating throughout his core. His lips found her pulse point, and his tongue drank in the sensation of it’s rapid beating.

In a flash Entrapta spun around and wrapped her legs around his waist, her ass fitting perfectly in the two strong hands that held her up. [ _ When did she take off her coveralls?! _ ] Hordak wondered as he felt the warm flesh in his hands. Entrapta was surprised to find that the pain of Hordak’s claws pressing against her skin as he gripped her, thrilled her immensely. She began to rock against him, hungry for the sweet friction that would alleviate the aching want that burned in her core.

“I want to see it!” she panted into his mouth before leaning back and looking down at where their bodies met. 

“See what?” Just then Hordak followed her gaze and noticed the massive bulge that was protruding under his skirt. [ _ Oh. Oh no.  _ **_That’s_ ** _ what she's been gyrating on?! This isn’t right! I’m not supposed to- ]  _ before he could finish his thought Entrapta’s wandering hand made it’s way south and grabbed him, causing his breath to hitch in his throat at the sudden contact. Her hand felt so small in comparison to his cock; her fingers failing to wrap all the way around his girth. She let out a husky chuckle, apparently very pleased with what she was feeling.

“I want to see this” she whispered as she sweetly captured his lips, once more.

Hordak himself had never seen “it” on account of the fact that “it” had been thus far hidden inside of an orifice at the apex of his legs. Clones like him had no business walking around packing such heat! It should have been removed from his genetic coding long ago! He was about to remove her hand from his manhood in shame, but before he was able to grab her wrist, Entrapta gave it an achingly divine stroke. He had no idea his body could be capable of feeling such bliss; he was never made for such pleasures. [ _ Another defect!]  _ his mind screamed [ _ Another fucking magnificent blessed defect!  _ ] He was becoming a melting mess in her skilled hand. For once he didn't feel pure disgust towards his flawed body. Dare he say he was even a little grateful for being so broken? A blasphemous thought no doubt, but a thought he couldn’t keep himself from thinking as Entrapta brought him to a state of euphoria.

Using her hair, Entrapta pulled her panties to the side, and lifted the skirt that still covered him, despite her hand working him slowly. Hordak let out a small cry when she removed her hand from his shaft, but that cry quickly turned into a throaty moan when he felt her wet sex press up directly on his cock. Her folds felt so slick and so hot as she slid her clit up and down the underside of his shaft, completely coating it with her arousal. Firm ridges lined the underside of Hordak’s cock and the feeling of them was quickly sending Entrapta into ecstasy, as she ground herself against him. Hordak bucked his hips in tandem with her movements, completely enamored with the needy sounds that were rolling out of her lips. He suddenly felt her seize up before she audibly gasped and her entire body began to tremble against him. He held her close and firmly kept her hips pressed against his length until her convulsions subsided. She looked up at him with a drunken smile, then lowered herself down to her knees. Of course, being so short, she kneeled on a bench of her hair to make sure she was comfortably aligned with his member.

“E-Entrapta what are you doing?” Hordak asked nervously as she placed her hands on his waist,

“ Relaaax Hordak. I just wanna get better acquainted with what you're working with! My scientific curiosity has been...aroused” she said with a wiggle of her eyebrows. 

Hordak had no idea what horrors stood erect beneath his skirt, and he was nervous that perhaps it wouldn’t be as aesthetically pleasing as she had been imagining when she was pleasuring herself with it. As she moved his skirt to the side, his eyes scanned Entrapta’s face for any sign of disappointment. When he found none, he finally allowed himself to look down and see what this strange newly discovered appendage looked like.

It was two shades darker than the rest of his body, and had violet colored ridges along the underside of it. The head was thick and also this strange violet color, though it faded to a pinkish shade as it tapered off at the tip, curling inward. It reminded Entrapta of a tentacle. 

“Hordak...” she whispered in wonderment. “...it’s so weird!” She made no attempt to hide giddiness from her voice, as her eyes sparkled with glee. Hordak wasn’t sure what to make of having his cock described as “weird”, but he didn’t have much time to ponder it since the next thing he knew, her tongue was licking a hot strip along his entire length, pulling a trill out of him as she reached the tip.

“So that’s what I taste like...Fascinating.” she whispered as she drew pleasure from licking her own arousal off of him. She pursed her lips and slowly slid his tip into her mouth, causing Hordak to let out a hiss. She hummed in delight when she felt it unfurl and wrap around her tongue. 

Entrapta proceeded to slide more and more of him into her hot wet mouth with each smooth bob of her head as her soft tongue slowly danced against his tip. Hordak threw his head back in ecstasy. “What are you doing to me?!” he choked out, as his hands hovered just above the base of her pigtails, not knowing if he wanted to yank her off of him or shove himself completely down her throat. It was all too wonderful! Too embarrassing! He wanted this heavenly nightmare to never end! 

She was about a quarter of the way down his shaft when she noticed the ridges were starting to excrete a strange iridescent substance that tasted almost like cinnamon and caused a subtle tingling sensation in her mouth. It was too fascinating for Entrapta to ignore! Without ever breaking her slow rhythmic bobbing, a lock of hair grabbed a cotton swab from her discarded coveralls and collected a quick sample of this mysterious substance. 

Her curious mind had to know if it would have the same tingling effects elsewhere in her body. With an audible pop she pulled him out of her mouth, and hurriedly climbed up Hordak’s tall form. She leaned her back up against the electrical column for support, and lined Hordak up at her entrance. She paused and hovered there for a moment while she looked into Hordak’s bewildered eyes. Was this going too far?

She got her answer when Hordaks claws suddenly grabbed her by the waist and pressed her down onto his waiting cock. They cried out in unison as his tip slid in; a heavenly heat radiating throughout their conjoined sexes. Neither of them moved as they tried to grow accustomed to these new sensations. Entrapta was certain she had never been so thoroughly stuffed and stretched, and it took a moment for her to release the tension she had in her body. Hordak meanwhile stood there breathless as he felt her hot velvety walls clench around his length. He searched her face through half-lidded eyes, for any sign of pain or discomfort, but all he saw was Entrapta slowly roll her eyes back in pleasure as she began to gently rock against him. He felt as though she were melting his insides with every thrust. 

Just as in her mouth, Hordak’s secretions had caused warm tingling sensations all along her insides. She made a mental note to explore this phenomenon in the future. 

The tentacle-like head of Hordak’s cock seemed to have had a mind of it’s own as it explored the deepest parts of Entrapta’s cunt, caressing and massaging every sensitive spot she had in her. Her arousal was uncontrollably flowing out of her at this point and it only heightened her sensitivity; she knew it wouldn’t take long before she was turned into a writhing mess. 

Hordak’s thrusts were quickly becoming desperate. He wasn’t entirely sure of what was going to happen, but he knew he was heading straight for some kind of crescendo, and fast! Suddenly he felt Entrapta’s walls clamp down on him as she cried out his name in the sweetest moan he had ever heard. Never had the sound of his name sounded so sublime! The fluttering of her walls only increased his pleasure until suddenly he felt as though his very soul had left his body. A wave of rapture spread throughout him, and stars flashed before his eyes as he buried himself completely in her and spilled his seed. Entrapta's body felt as though it were milking him of every last drop, as he held her tightly against him til he was spent.

Hordak gently cradled Entrapta close to him for a few erratic heart beats, and kissed the top of her head, as they caught their breath. He couldn’t wrap his head around what had just transpired between them, as he stood there holding her, legs slightly shaking. Surely such joys were never meant for the likes of him. Had it not been for the feeling of Entrapta’s soft breath upon his neck, and the warmth of her body wrapped around his, he would have probably assumed this was all some lovesick delusion concocted by his defective mind, for never in all his years had he experienced such tenderness as at this moment.

Wordlessly, Entrapta kissed his cheek then slowly lowered herself back down. She looked up at him lovingly for a moment, then suddenly perked up and grinned. "Well that was incredible.” she chuckled.

Hordak could only pant out a breathy "Yes" in agreeance.

“I'm open to exploring this aspect of our relationship further." She said happily, as she quickly put her coveralls back on. "...Only if you're up for it too, of course." she added bashfully. Hordak's mind was still a whirling haze, all he could do in response was just nod his head, as he slowly came back to reality. 

"Great! Now I guess I should really get working on integrating that First Ones tech, huh?! The endorphins I got from this really got my brain juices flowing! I thought up of so many new ideas I want to try out!" She laughed. Entrapta raised herself up on her hair and planted two quick kisses on his cheeks before zipping off and disappearing into the rafters above.

Hordak raked his fingers through his hair and pushed it back down into it's more formal style. Just as he had finally caught his breath,  a jolt of pain shot immediately out across his limbs, expelling any shred of joy or pleasure he had been clinging onto.  He let out a frustrated hiss as he doubled over in pain. He had been out of his armor for too long.

_ [ Curse this wretched body! I was a fool to think I could get away with such acts without any repercussions! ]  _ He fought against the weight of his body as he started the strenuous task of getting himself to an area where his mechanical assembling limbs could dress him. 

He stood there berating himself until the voice of his Force Captain pulled him from his thoughts. [ _ Ah, yes. Catra. Shadow Weaver. This better be quick. _ ] he thought with annoyance. She was the last person he wanted to deal with right now. All he wanted was to just shrivel up into a pitiful ball and perish. His frustrations only grew the longer he was forced to explain the simple logic behind his orders to this girl. He was just about to blow his fuse when the power went out, and in the darkness he suddenly saw Entrapta lower herself from the ceiling. Despite having just seen her in the most carnal of ways a few moments ago, the sight of her was still like a breath of fresh air to him, and he felt his bitter hearts flutter a little, once more. 

Catra spoke to Entrapta in such harsh tones, as Hordak watched them talk. [  _ Who does this little brat think she fucking is?! She dare make Entrapta feel unwelcome in my sanctum?!  _ ] He already gave her her orders! There was no reason for her to still be in their presence! He had to get rid of her. 

As Hordak stood between the two women, Entrapta slowly stepped closer to him and slithered a tendril of hair beneath his cloak and gingerly grasped the balled up fist he held behind his back. A bold move considering Catra was a mere four feet in front of them at most, though she looked thoroughly distracted by Hordak’s harsh scolding.

He opened his hand and allowed the silky strands of lavender hair to intertwine with his fingers. It had an immediate soothing effect on him. All the bitterness he had felt towards his very being just moments ago, melted away in that moment.

Though Entrapta’s affectionate gesture warmed Hordak’s hearts to no end, he tried to keep that from showing on his face as he dismissed Catra. 

Hordak had an epiphany about Entrapta and himself just then: maybe these feelings they had for each other would pass as quickly as they came on, or maybe they would haunt him for the rest of his life. None of it seemed to matter to him anymore. He decided in that moment, that he was going to allow himself this one sliver of pure and simple happiness, for as long as fate would let him hold it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there ya have it! I hope you guys enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it! ✌🏽💕  
> ( This was my first time writing freak nastys , so sorry if it's clunky lol I would love some feedback! ...but please be gentle haha)

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!!! Feel free to leave a kudo and/or comment on your way out! 💜


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